Life is Precious?

Yesterday, I was speaking to a close friend of mine, who was my roomie before we both got married and then she shifted to Mumbai. While we were discussing something else, I happened to mention that P had reached home yesterday at 7pm. A totally shocking event for her and me! Reason: He normally never gets home before 9pm.

She asked me if it was a special day, was it our anniversary that she had forgotten about? Then she quickly corrected herself, “oh no! how can I forget your anniversary? You got married just a couple of days after M tried to commit suicide”. I was aghast that she had such wonderful (pun intended) associations with my wedding day.

That’s what got me thinking actually. I clearly remember that day even today. That was the day I was leaving the flat we shared with a couple of other girls, M and G. It was an amazing apartment, spacious, with all amenities, good and friendly neighbors and an amazing landlord (ahem… lord?). I thoroughly enjoyed my one year in that flat. S, my friend and I bonded pretty well. We had our share of spats, but then who doesn’t? Even if you are siblings, you don’t get along all the time.

Anyways, so I was getting married 4 days from that date, and had packed all my stuff and sent it to P’s house before hand. I just had the bags which I needed to carry for the wedding with me, and P had come to pick me up and drop me at the station for the train to Chennai where I was getting married to… P… who else?

M had decided not to go to work that day, and I found it funny, considering she is always the one who is up first and ready before all of us even think of waking up. She was a jolly one, always smiling and generally carefree. Or so we thought! Anyways, we said our goodbyes at the door cheerfully with promises of keeping in touch and then P and I set out for the station where my parents and a couple of family friends had reached from Goa and were waiting for me.

We had reached half way, when I received a call from M’s boyfriend. I forget his name so we shall call him U (as in unknown). He was in Mumbai for a visa interview and sounded very distraught. He told me that M had tried to commit suicide and had slit her wrists, and she called him after she had done the deed to inform him about it. He was crying and asked me whether I could go back and take her to the hospital. I was so shocked at that moment, I wasn’t able to open my mouth. My heart started palpitating, my hands were perspiring and tears were freely flowing down my cheeks. For a moment, I didn’t know what to do, what to say! I composed myself after a few seconds and asked P to turn the car around and take me back. He tried to calm me down and I explained the situation to him. He then tried to drill some sense into me, told me that my train was an hour away and there were people waiting for me and if I went back, the entire plan and schedule would go awry. I then calmed down and called S and told her about the situation. Her office was just 5 minutes away and she said that she would leave for home immediately. I also called our neighbor, SM, and asked her to break open the door and check on M. I then waited for half an hour, when SM called me and told me that M was on her way to the hospital, that she hadn’t lost too much blood and that the wound was superficial. I didn’t know whether to be relieved or angry.

Do you know why M had done all this? It was because she didn’t want U to go abroad. It was a 3 month long assignment and she thought it was too long a separation period for her. That for her was such a big issue that she tried to take her own life. That was how much she valued her life. She didn’t stop to think for a moment, about the grief, her parents who had brought her up, her siblings who loved her and her friends, boyfriend and others who considered her to be part of their lives would go through. There was no thought given to her life ahead which she dreamed about and discussed with U, her budding career, her happiness and that of her parents and other family members. All because she was going to be away from U for 3 months?

Even if she hadn’t meant to “seriously” commit suicide, what about the myriad other people who were affected by it? The emotional trauma that I had to go through before my wedding.  S, who had to be by her side till she was in the hospital, who had to take her to the airport, get her a ticket and put her on the flight to her parents place, the neighbor SM, who was shell shocked that something like this can happen. The landlord, who had to face the many questions that neighbors posed to him about why he was allowing such people to live in his house. S, G and the new roommates who were now branded as “the girls whose friend tried to commit suicide”. And last by not the least, U, who was the “cause” for this attempted suicide.

I am sure if this was an accident or murder, no one would think about inconveniences or labels because that would be a genuine tragedy. But this, this was an attention seeking tactic. And what a tactic it was! Enough to cause a break up between her and U. Enough to ruin the wonderful relationship we shared with our neighbors and enough to have our landlord not trust these girls anymore and have someone keep an eye on them all the time.

One action was enough to ruin so many things! Was it really worth it?